The Woman Who Saved Me: Donielle Jolie Yanez and the Power of Healing Loudly

 The Woman Who Saved Me: Donielle Jolie Yanez and the Power of Healing Loudly

Before I could name the abuse, she gave me the language to survive it.

When You’re Drowning, You Don’t Need a Lecture You Need a Lifeline

I didn’t discover Donielle Jolie Yanez because I was curious about narcissistic abuse. I discovered her because I was dying from it.

There are moments in survival that don’t feel like life. You’re breathing, but you’re buried. You’re screaming, but no one hears you. You’re surrounded by people, but you’re utterly alone with a truth too dark and too twisted to explain. That’s where I was when Donielle’s voice reached me. Not through a therapist’s office. Not through a self-help book. Through a screen raw, shaking, defiant, and real.

She wasn’t giving a lesson. She was giving a lifeline.

Not Just Another Creator A Survivor Who Told the Truth Without Apology

Most content about narcissistic abuse follows a pattern: neat lists, clinical terms, ten signs you’re being gaslit. But Donielle wasn’t just another creator reciting facts from a textbook. She didn’t speak about abuse she embodied what it means to survive it.

She told her story like it bled from her chest. She wept on camera. She raged on camera. She broke down and stood back up, sometimes in the same breath. There was no filter, no performance, no polished persona. Just the brutal, aching truth of someone who lived it and refused to let others die in silence.

She wasn’t reading off a teleprompter. She was reading out of her soul.

The Puzzle Pieces of My Survival

The first time I heard her voice, something in me cracked open. I didn’t have the words yet for what I had endured gaslighting, psychological warfare, identity erosion. I just knew something was wrong, and that it had almost killed me.

Donielle gave me the first puzzle piece. Then the second. Then the third and fourth. She named what I couldn’t. She decoded the abuse I was still entangled in. And in doing so, she showed me that I wasn’t crazy. I was being systematically dismantled by someone who knew exactly what they were doing.

Her videos weren’t just informative they were oxygen. They were validation. They were survival.

Donielle Jolie Yanez: A Hero of the Movement

In a world that rewards silence, Donielle chose to speak. In a world that gaslights survivors, she stood in her truth and said, “No more.” She was one of the first to heal loudly to weaponize her story not with revenge, but with radical honesty.

She is not just a survivor. She is a life-saver.

She didn’t just educate. She connected. She didn’t just talk. She reached. And in doing so, she became a hero in a movement that’s been starving for leaders who bleed authenticity.

I know I’m not the only one she saved. I’ve heard from hundreds of survivors who say the same thing: “She made me feel seen.”

Her Impact on the Work I Do Today

If it weren’t for Donielle Jolie Yanez, I wouldn’t be alive to write this. I wouldn’t have founded the Heal Loudly™ Movement. I wouldn’t be fighting for the Voiceless Justice Act or the FRANKIE Initiative. I wouldn’t have found the strength to speak for the thousands of survivors who were silenced some permanently.

Every speech I give, every survivor I reach, every life I help pull out of the darkness it traces back to her. Her voice sparked mine. Her courage lit the first fire.

She didn’t just help me understand what narcissistic abuse was. She helped me understand that I could survive it.

A Legacy of Truth-Telling That Saves Lives

Donielle Jolie Yanez is not a footnote in this movement. She is its foundation.

She proved that storytelling is survival. That a trembling voice is still powerful. That vulnerability is the most radical form of resistance. And that when one survivor dares to speak the unspeakable, a thousand others find their breath again.

She healed loudly before it was safe, before it was trending, before most people even knew what narcissistic abuse was.

Thank You, Donielle

This movement is built on truth-tellers. On warriors. On people who refused to stay silent even when their voices shook. Donielle Jolie Yanez is all of that and more.

She gave us the language to understand our trauma. She gave us the mirror to see it clearly. And she gave us the courage to live, even when living felt impossible.

This is not just an article. It’s a thank you letter to the woman who saved my life.

Donielle, wherever you are thank you for healing loudly

The Narcissistic Abuse Declaration of Independence

 The Narcissistic Abuse Declaration of Independence

By Daniel Ryan Cotler

Founder of the Heal Loudly Movement

Author of Voiceless: The Silent Epidemic of Suicide Due to Narcissistic Abuse

Architect of the Voiceless Justice Act and the FRANKIE Initiative

When in the course of human survival, it becomes necessary for those who have been psychologically terrorized to reclaim their autonomy and separate themselves from the control of their abusers, a decent respect to the truth requires that they should declare the causes which compel them to this separation.

I, and all survivors of narcissistic abuse, hold these truths to be self-evident:

That all human beings are born with inherent worth.

That no one is entitled to control another’s mind, body, emotions, or identity.

That psychological abuse is a form of violence strategic, intentional, and designed to destroy.

That narcissistic abuse, when left unchecked, leads to fragmentation of identity, collapse of will, isolation, and, in far too many cases, death by suicide.

That this abuse is not merely “toxic” or “unhealthy” it is premeditated character assassination, psychological warfare, and soul murder.

For too long, society has minimized, dismissed, and misunderstood this form of abuse.

For too long, survivors have been silenced, blamed, or told to “move on” while their abusers walk free.

For too long, we have been forced to endure in silence what should have been exposed and prosecuted.

We declare the era of silence over.

We assert our inalienable rights:

The right to name what happened.

The right to speak loudly, clearly, and without shame.

The right to sever all ties with our abusers emotionally, legally, and spiritually.

The right to be believed, supported, and protected.

The right to heal on our own terms.

The right to pursue justice, accountability, and systemic change.

The right to live without being defined by the people who tried to destroy us.

To that end, I issue this Declaration of Independence from Narcissistic Abuse on behalf of myself, and every survivor who has been demeaned, dehumanized, discredited, and driven to the edge.

Let it be known:

I reject every false narrative constructed about me.

I reject every smear, every lie, every attempt to cast me as unstable, untrustworthy, or unworthy.

I reject the illusion that my silence is noble, that my suffering must be private, or that my voice is too much.

I know who I am in the marrow of my bones and the fire of my spirit and I will no longer ask permission to exist.

I am no longer available for abuse. I am no longer interested in being understood by those committed to misunderstanding me. I am no longer afraid to take up space.

I affirm, publicly and without apology, that I survived.

I affirm that my survival is not shameful, but revolutionary.

That my scars are not evidence of weakness, but of war.

That every attempt to erase me has only made my voice louder.

That I will not be defined by the cruelty of others, but by the strength it took to live through it and rise.

To the abusers who waged psychological war on my mind and body: I name you. I hold you accountable.

To the systems that enabled your abuse and protected your lies: I indict you. I call for change.

To the survivors who still believe their pain must stay hidden: I see you. I fight for you. I speak for the voiceless.

Let this document serve as notice:

We are done healing quietly.

We are done begging to be believed.

We are done accommodating the comfort of those who covered for the abusers.

We will Heal Loudly.

We will organize, legislate, educate, and expose.

We will change laws. We will shift culture.

We will no longer be collateral damage in someone else's pathology.

We will rise, not as victims, but as a global community of truth-tellers united, loud, and unafraid.

I, Daniel Ryan Cotler, affix my name to this declaration as a survivor of narcissistic abuse, a witness to its deadly consequences, and an advocate for a world where psychological warfare is no longer tolerated, minimized, or ignored.

This is my line in the sand.

This is our revolution.

This is the Declaration of Survival.

This is the beginning of the end for silence, for denial, and for abusers who believe they can destroy lives without consequence.

Signed,

Daniel Ryan Cotler

Survivor. Advocate. Author. Leader of the Heal Loudly Movement.

Founder of the Voiceless Justice Act and the FRANKIE Initiative.

Voice for the Voiceless.

Functional Freeze: The Trauma Response That Looks Like Laziness But Is Actually Psychological Shutdown

Functional Freeze: The Trauma Response That Looks Like  Laziness But Is Actually Psychological Shutdown

By Daniel Ryan Cotler, Narcissistic Abuse Expert & Survivor Advocate.

🧠 What Is Functional Freeze?

Functional freeze is a severe trauma response often misdiagnosed as laziness or depression where the body goes through the motions of living, but the mind is trapped in psychological shutdown. This is a nervous system freeze response, commonly found in survivors of narcissistic abuse, complex PTSD, and prolonged emotional trauma.

Unlike acute panic or emotional breakdowns, functional freeze is subtle. Survivors can appear “fine” while feeling disconnected, exhausted, numb, or even dead inside. It is not a personality flaw it is a survival mechanism rooted in unresolved trauma.

🔍 Key Symptoms of Functional Freeze

Common signs include:

Chronic exhaustion and inability to get out of bed

Emotional numbness and mental fog

Disassociation or feeling “checked out”

Forgetting basic tasks or how time passes

Inability to take action despite needing or wanting to

People in functional freeze often blame themselves, but this is not a motivational issue it’s a trauma response.

⚠️ How Narcissistic Abuse Creates Functional Freeze

Survivors of narcissistic abuse are highly vulnerable to functional freeze because the abuse is repetitive, subtle, and psychologically destabilizing. Over time, the nervous system learns that neither fight nor flight is safe so it shuts down instead.

When you're gaslit, stonewalled, manipulated, and emotionally invalidated long enough, your body stops trusting the world. You go into freeze mode not because you're weak, but because your brain has adapted to survive psychological warfare.

This is what psychological abuse does it breaks down your sense of agency while forcing you to keep functioning.

🧬 The Brain Science Behind Functional Freeze

Functional freeze is not “in your head”it’s in your nervous system. Trauma literally reshapes your brain:

The amygdala goes into overdrive, constantly scanning for danger

The prefrontal cortex (responsible for logic and focus) shuts down

The hippocampus shrinks, impairing memory and time orientation

This is neurological trauma, not just emotional distress.

🤐 Why It’s Misunderstood

The freeze response is misunderstood because it looks invisible. Survivors can go to work, post on social media, or respond to texts but inside, they’re shutting down. Society sees functioning and assumes wellness. But the truth is:

Functional freeze mimics high functioning depression

Survivors are praised for coping while internally collapsing

Most people including doctors don’t recognize it as trauma

💬 What Survivors Say

Real words from those living in freeze:

 “I want to shower, I just can’t get up.”

“I don’t even know how I’m alive right now.”

“It’s like I’m watching my life from the outside.”

“I’m so tired of pretending I’m okay.”

If you relate to these words, you are not alone and you are not broken.

🛑 Stop Calling This Laziness. It’s Psychological Captivity.

Functional freeze is a symptom of psychological captivity, not weakness. Telling survivors to “just get motivated” is retraumatizing. They don’t need a pep talk they need trauma-informed support, somatic healing, and safety.

This is not burnout. This is not a bad attitude.

This is the cost of being trapped in emotional abuse long enough that your body shut down to survive.

💡 How to Start Healing from Functional Freeze

Recovery isn’t about willpower it’s about nervous system repair. 

That includes:

Somatic therapy (body-based trauma healing)

Polyvagal work (regulating the vagus nerve)

Self-compassion, not self-criticism

Safe, validating relationships that don’t gaslight or minimize

Functional freeze is reversible, but only when we name it, understand it, and treat it like the legitimate trauma response it is.

📢 We Need Awareness, Legal Recognition, and Justice

It’s time to educate the world about what psychological abuse does. We need trauma-informed doctors, therapists, judges, and laws that recognize this isn’t emotional drama it’s emotional damage.

Support survivors.

Expose the truth about narcissistic abuse.

And help us make history by signing our legislative petition.

👉 Sign the Voiceless Justice Act Petition Now

📍 www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct

Narcissistic Abuse SURVIVOR STORIES “He Said He Can’t Wait to Go to My Funeral”

Narcissistic Abuse SURVIVOR STORIES

“He Said He Can’t Wait to Go to My Funeral”

Submitted to the Heal Loudly Movement. Name changed for privacy.

This one… this one leaves no room for doubt.

No room for pretending narcissistic abuse isn’t deadly.

No room for soft language or silence.

She came forward because her soul has been shattered. Not metaphorically literally. Systematically. Deliberately. And in writing, her abuser told her exactly what he wanted:

“I can’t wait to go to your funeral.”

Let’s not dance around what that is.

That is premeditated psychological murder. That is a narcissist admitting the endgame.

And yet… no consequences.

This survivor wasn’t just abused by one person she was hunted by an entire family system.

A cult of enablers.

A circle of silence.

The kind of multi-front abuse that erodes everything: your mind, your trust, your identity, your hope.

 “Nobody will listen to what I have to say.”

That line should haunt us all. Because it echoes in every survivor’s chest.

She’s not alone in that. The courts ignore it. Friends drift. Therapists sometimes minimize it. And the world just… doesn’t know what to do with a victim whose abuser never left bruises, only invisible burns that never stop hurting.

But we do.

We know.

And we are listening.

 “It’s just as bad as a serial killer. They’ll lock up a serial killer. But they let this happen. Every day.”

She’s right. Narcissistic abuse is predatory. It’s life-threatening. And it should be criminal.

It’s not “just emotional abuse.” It’s psychological warfare designed to end lives in slow motion.

It’s not “just manipulation.” It’s a pattern of destruction that mirrors tactics used by dictators and cult leaders.

And it should never never—be legal.

The Voiceless Justice Act was written for people exactly like this.

For the ones screaming into the void, begging for someone anyone to hear them before it’s too late.

To the survivor who sent this: you are not crazy. You are not broken. You are not alone.

You are evidence.

And now, you're part of the resistance.

⚖️ CALL TO ACTION: Help Us Make Narcissistic Abuse Illegal

Sign the Voiceless Justice Act petition to criminalize narcissistic abuse, hold abusers accountable for driving victims to suicide, and protect survivors before it’s too late.

🖊️ www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct

Narcissistic abuse is life-threatening. It is psychological murder.

And it’s time the law caught up with the truth.

ORIGINAL MESSAGE (Unedited)

 I was abused by a narcissist and his whole family. He still tortures me. I knew I wasn’t crazy. But nobody will listen to what I have to say and now my soul is shattered my life has been ruined. I have in writing from him that he can’t wait to go to my funeral.

We need to fight together and make this illegal because it is life-threatening for narcissists to be able to abuse somebody and get away with it.

I think doing something that makes it illegal would help those who don’t have a voice. It would give those a voice who need to be heard.

It’s just as bad as a serial killer. They will lock up a serial killer, and the one victim that got away they help.

#narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #Voiceless #thevoicelessjusticeact

Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Story She Doesn’t Even Know She’s Dying"

Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Story (Anonymous Submission)

"She Doesn’t Even Know She’s Dying"

I have a friend who is being destroyed by narcissistic abuse. Not by one person nbut by many. By a lifetime of trauma stacked on top of trauma, like bricks on her chest she was never strong enough to carry but no one ever helped her unload.

She’s been hurt in the worst ways, by more people than I can count. It started with the unthinkable trauma from a family member. The kind of trauma that rewires your brain, your spirit, your instincts. Now, every man she meets becomes another abuser. It’s like she’s trapped in a loop, repeating the same pain over and over, and I can’t pull her out.

Her brain is locked in survival mode fight, flight, freeze. Sometimes fawn. She doesn’t realize how broken she is, because this has become her normal. She’s been held against her will. She’s disappeared into jails and courtrooms and toxic relationships and come back acting like nothing happened. The police won’t help unless she files something. But she never does, because she doesn’t believe she’s worth saving.

I’ve tried everything. I’ve called sheriffs. I’ve begged people to listen. I have my own health problems, and still I pour every ounce of what I have into trying to help her. I don’t even know how. It’s like the words just come out of me when we talk. I think it’s God. I think He’s using me to reach her. Because she doesn’t talk to anyone else like she talks to me. And I don’t talk to anyone else like I talk to her.

Sometimes I feel like we knew each other in another life. Our souls are bonded. She is the only person I speak to every single day. And when she disappears, I worry it’s the end. Her family doesn’t care. Her mom’s checked out completely. My own family says I should walk away that she’s dragging me down. But I can’t. She's special. Her spirit is rare. And she’s worth saving, even if the world doesn’t see it.

What hurts the most is watching someone you love drown while everyone else calls it “drama.”

They don’t see the trauma.

They don’t see the little girl still begging to be rescued from that first betrayal.

I don’t want pity.

I want people to wake up.

This kind of trauma doesn’t go away on its own. It kills. Slowly. Silently. And no one even writes a report.

I won’t let her become another silent funeral. Not if I can help it.

I don’t know what else to do but I know she’s not crazy.

She’s just never been safe.

And I’m not giving up on her.

#narcissisticabuserecovery #narcissisticpersonalitydisorder #Voiceless #thevoicelessjusticeact

SURVIVOR STORIES “I Died. And Came Back to Tell the Truth

 SURVIVOR STORIES

“I Died. And Came Back to Tell the Truth.”

Submitted to the Heal Loudly Movement. Name changed for privacy.

In 2021, she met a man on a dating app charming, attentive, magnetic. The kind that sweeps you off your feet and makes the whole world feel like a movie.

It felt like fate.

She followed love from Denmark to Cyprus, and finally to Nigeria, where they married. It should have been a fairytale. But like so many survivors of narcissistic abuse, what she thought was love quickly unraveled into something much darker.

When they returned to Denmark, everything changed.

Behind closed doors, the mask fell.

What followed was a descent into deceit, manipulation, and psychological abuse.

What she once called romance became control.

What looked like love became a slow, calculated undoing of her identity.

 “I lost myself. I couldn’t see a way out.”

The emotional damage was catastrophic. The gaslighting was relentless. She was isolated from her support system. Her reality was twisted beyond recognition. The pain built up until it swallowed everything including her will to live.

Then came the suicide attempt.

This wasn’t a cry for help. This was her body giving up because her spirit had been broken.

She was clinically dead for several minutes.

Dead.

Until doctors revived her and pulled her back.

“I died. But I came back. And now I’m telling the truth.”

This is what narcissistic abuse does.

It doesn’t just ruin reputations or cause emotional pain.

It kills.

Quietly. Invisibly. Legally.

And it’s still not criminal.

How many more survivors have to die or come closebbefore we call this what it is? Psychological murder. Emotional terrorism. A human rights violation disguised as a relationship.

This survivor lived to tell her story. Not everyone does.

And now, her voice joins the growing chorus demanding justice

⚖️ CALL TO ACTION: Join the Fight to Criminalize Narcissistic Abuse

Sign the Voiceless Justice Act petition today.

Help us make psychological abuse a crime. Help us hold perpetrators accountable. Help us stop this epidemic before more lives are lost.

🖊️ www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct

Narcissistic abuse is a silent killer. But we’re done being silent.

Narcissistic abuse Survivor Stories

 SURVIVOR STORIES

“Her Truth Didn’t Die With Her”

Submitted to the Heal Loudly Movement. Name changed for privacy.

Some stories come in and leave a mark on your soul and this one carved itself in deep.

A survivor recently reached out after watching one of our videos about emotional murder. Her message hit like lightning: painfully honest, deeply moving, and tragically familiar to far too many of us.

She lost her mother to suicide.

But it wasn’t just suicide.

It was emotional murder.

 “The day I lost my mother, I knew how, why, and who was responsible.”

This survivor watched her mother suffer at the hands of a narcissistic abuser for years until it broke her spirit. She tried everything: speaking out, pleading with family, friends, even the police. But no one listened. Not really. Not enough.

They closed the case. Wrote it off as mental illness.

But they never asked what caused that illness.

They never questioned who cultivated the despair that killed her.

Her father her mother’s abuser still walks free. Still wears the costume of a good man. He even has the churches fooled. But behind closed doors, this man orchestrated the slow and steady destruction of a woman’s will to live.

  “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve tried to explain it what he did to her. What he put her through. But people don’t want to see it. He plays the part too well.”

This survivor is done being silent. And she’s right to be. She called it what it is: a public safety hazard. Because when abusers are never held accountable, they don’t stop. They just move on to the next victim.

And we we who see it we have a responsibility to expose it.

 “I truly believe if we got enough people’s stories out into the world, it would make a difference.”

She’s not wrong. That’s the heart of the Heal Loudly Movement. Her story and her mother’s story deserve to be heard, honored, and remembered as more than a statistic or a quiet tragedy.

Because her mother didn’t die because she was “mentally ill.”

She died because she was emotionally tortured.

By a narcissist who still pretends to be the victim.

And that that is the epidemic no one wants to name.

But we will.

And we’ll keep naming it.

Loudly.

“Her truth didn’t die with her. Not on my watch.”

ORIGINAL LETTER (Unedited)

> I was truly so moved by your video, the day I lost my mother I knew how, why and who was responsible. I watched my mother live a sad life of torture until it ultimately cost her her life. I can’t tell you how many times I've tried to express what you did in your video to loved ones, friends, anyone who would listen to me to expose her abuser and try to hold him accountable for this unforgivable treatment to my mother. I pleaded! With the police to listen to me and they closed my mother’s case and chalked it up to mental illness without realizing who, what, and why her mental health deteriorated resulting in her taking her own life.

The pain this monster has inflicted on me and my mother will unfortunately never stop because he paints himself as this perfect man on the outside to everyone—he even has the churches fooled.

I wanted to reach out because this is something I’m extremely passionate about. When you said it was emotional shmerder... That's literally!! What it is and it won’t stop if we don’t spread awareness to others. In my opinion it’s a true and valid safety hazard to society that monsters like that walk around and just continue to their next victims with no repercussions!

My mother did take her own life but the truth and facts are so much deeper than that. The horrendous actions of my father is and should be held responsible.

If I can help in any way! Whatsoever to the message you're trying to send, I'm all in! I truly believe if we got enough people’s stories and what they went through out there in the world it would make a difference. So again please let me know. I’ve finally come to a place mentally where I’m ready to share my mother’s story, her truth. No one should ever! Go through narc. abuse.

If you’ve read this and made it this far, thank you so much! Your video made me realize I’m not alone and what my mother went through is very real. So again thank you! For all you do!

⚖️ CALL TO ACTION: SIGN THE PETITION TO END EMOTIONAL MURDER

Join the fight for the Voiceless. Sign the Voiceless Justice Act today.

👉 www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct

Too many survivors die before they’re believed.

Too many abusers walk free, hiding behind charm, status, and false smiles.

And too often, the truth is buried with the victim.

This is not “just” suicide.

It’s psychological homicide.

It's emotional murder.

And it's happening every single day.

Victims of narcissistic abuse aren’t just “sad.”

They’re systematically broken down isolated, gaslit, manipulated, and driven to believe death is their only escape.

This epidemic is real. It’s silent. And it’s deadly.

The Voiceless Justice Act is a federal petition to recognize narcissistic abuse as the lethal psychological warfare that it is and to hold abusers legally accountable when their victims are driven to suicide.

No more silence. No more dismissal. No more pretending narcissistic abuse isn’t fatal.

🖊️ Sign the petition. Be a voice for those who no longer have one.

www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct

“Tactics of Psychological Warfare: How Narcissists Break You Like the CIA”

 🎥 Series Title:

“Tactics of Psychological Warfare: How Narcissists Break You Like the CIA”

The 100 War Tactics of Narcissistic Abuse 

By Daniel Ryan Cotler

“This Is Psychological Warfare Not a Breakup”

This isn't drama. This isn't a messy relationship. This is psychological warfarebthe kind designed by intelligence agencies to break prisoners of war.

And narcissists are using it. Every single day.

They're not just toxic. They're tactical. Every mood swing, every silent treatment, every gaslighting session is not random. It's programmed. It's calculated. It's a weapon.

These tactics come directly from CIA interrogation manuals, KGB psychological operations, and military torture programs. And survivors of narcissistic abuse are living through this hell silently, invisibly, every single day.

And what happens when people don’t understand it? They tell us to “just move on.” They say, “it couldn’t have been that bad.” Survivors are left to question their own minds, feel crazy, isolate themselves, and collapse under the weight of confusion and shame.

This series will expose 100 psychological warfare tactics used by narcissists one by one so the world can see the full truth. Because this isn’t a personality disorder gone rogue. This is a methodical destruction of identity. A systematic erasure of the self. A soul-level genocide.

And we’re done being quiet.

This is the beginning of a movement. This is the call to every survivor who was ever gaslit into silence, into shame, into suicide.

Follow the series. Share the truth. And support the Voiceless Justice Act at www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct.

This is war. But this time, we’re fighting back.

Tactic 1: Sleep Deprivation Weaponizing Exhaustion

Sleep deprivation is one of the most powerful torture methods ever documented. The CIA's own KUBARK interrogation manual, used to break down prisoners of war, outlines it clearly: deny someone sleep long enough, and you can make them confess to anything, believe anything, forget who they are.

Narcissistic abusers use this same tactic without a prison, without a cage, and without a single weapon. Just your bed. Just your brain.

They pick fights late at night. They create chaos as soon as your body starts to rest. They accuse you of cheating at 2am. They storm into the room yelling when they know you have an early shift. And they do it again. And again. And again.

Why? Because sleep deprivation doesn’t just make you tired it makes you vulnerable. It dismantles your ability to think critically. You can’t focus. You can’t regulate your emotions. You become foggy, confused, compliant. You forget what’s real. You start to break.

When you’re deprived of sleep for long enough, your brain literally starts to malfunction. You experience memory loss. Impaired decision-making. Emotional instability. Your immune system weakens. You get sick more often. You lose your appetite. You gain weight or lose it rapidly. You cry for no reason. Or you stop crying completely.

It doesn’t stop there. Survivors often report terrifying episodes of sleep paralysis waking up frozen, unable to move, with hallucinations that feel demonic. That isn’t “drama.” That’s what the brain does under chronic trauma and exhaustion.

Your nervous system enters permanent survival mode. You live in fight-or-flight. Even in silence, even in safety, your body doesn’t relax. You flinch at night noises. You wake up sweating. You dread going to bed, because bed is now a war zone.

And when you finally get out of the relationship, your sleep still doesn’t come back. You stay wired. You stay exhausted. The trauma is burned into your nervous system.

This isn’t a spat. This isn’t toxic communication. This is psychological warfare.

Sleep deprivation is a crime against the mind. And in narcissistic abuse, it’s used to soften you up so you won’t notice the next lie, the next betrayal, the next manipulation. Because when your mind is too tired to fight back, the narcissist wins.

This is only one of 100 documented tactics used by narcissistic abusers that mirror war crimes and interrogation programs.

If you're a survivor, this is not your fault. You were broken down methodically.

If you're not a survivor, now you know. This is not a messy relationship. It’s an invisible battlefield. And too many people are dying on it without a single soul realizing they were ever at war.

This is psychological murder.

Support the Voiceless Justice Act and help us expose, criminalize, and eradicate psychological abuse.

👉 Visit www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct

Because silence is what they count on. And silence is what we’re ending.

Today is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. For those who are looking for closure.

Today is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. For those who are looking for closure.

If you are reading this, then you already know how devastating narcissistic abuse is. This kind of abuse doesn’t just break hearts it breaks lives. It destroys self-worth, dismantles identities, and far too often, it ends in tragedy. Many people don’t survive it.

And for those who do, they’re often left haunted by questions that may never be answered. They find themselves searching for closure, clinging to the hope that the person who hurt them will one day offer an apology, an explanation, or a moment of remorse.

But here’s the truth that no one wants to say out loud: That apology is never coming. That closure you’re hoping for will not come from your abuser. They are not capable of giving it to you. Closure requires empathy, accountability, and a conscienceband those are not traits that narcissistic abusers possess.

So today, I want to talk to you about creating your own closure. Because healing cannot begin when you’re still waiting for validation from the very person who invalidated everything about you.

The hardest truth in all of this is realizing that the person you loved the one you fought for, the one you believed in doesn’t exist. That person was never real. You fell in love with a carefully constructed illusion. A false self. A mask. And coming to terms with that is like grieving a ghost.

It is painful. It is confusing. You feel like you’re mourning someone who isn’t dead but also someone who never truly lived. And yet, your love for them was real. That needs to be honored. You are not foolish for loving them. You are human. You loved with your whole heart, and that is something to be proud of.

But here’s the next step. In order to heal, you have to separate the person you loved from the person who abused you. You have to split them into two. And to do that, you need to say goodbye to the fantasy. You need to let go of the version of them that you created in your mind the version you believed in.

I suggest something that changed everything for me: have a funeral.

Not for the abuser. But for the person you thought they were. Write a poem. Write a eulogy. Write a goodbye letter. Then go somewhere quiet alone, or with a few trusted people and read it. Say goodbye. Mourn the loss. Cry. Rage. Honor your love, and then release it.

This is your closure. This is the beginning of reclaiming your life.

When I did this, it broke me wide open. But it also helped me separate the illusion from the reality. It helped me stop confusing the mask for the monster. And that separation is what kept me from getting sucked back in. It is what gave me the clarity to stay away and the strength to rebuild.

Every day, I wake up and I still grieve the person I thought I loved. It feels like they died. So I treat it like a loss. Like I’m a widow. But I also remind myself: that version of them never existed. It was all a lie.

And in grieving that lie, I found the truth.

To every survivor out there today, I want you to know: your closure is not waiting in their apology. It’s waiting in your hands. You have the power to create it. To declare it. To honor your pain, and then begin your healing.

You are not broken. You are breaking free.

Grieve the ghost. Say goodbye to the illusion. And then rise.

Because healing is not about what they do.

It’s about what you do now.