Narcissist Abuse Recovery Community/ The Heal Louldy Movement Blog

 The Woman Who Saved Me: Donielle Jolie Yanez and the Power of Healing Loudly Before I could name the abuse, she gave me the language to survive it. When You’re Drowning, You Don’t Need a Lecture You Need a Lifeline I didn’t discover Donielle Jolie Yanez because I was curious about narcissistic abuse. I discovered her because I was dying from it. There are moments in survival that don’t feel like life. You’re breathing, but you’re buried. You’re screaming, but no one hears you. You’re surrounded by people, but you’re utterly alone with a truth too dark and too twisted to explain. That’s where I was when Donielle’s voice reached me. Not through a therapist’s office. Not through a self-help book. Through a screen raw, shaking, defiant, and real. She wasn’t giving a lesson. She was giving a lifeline. Not Just Another Creator A Survivor Who Told the Truth Without Apology Most content about narcissistic abuse follows a pattern: neat lists, clinical terms, ten signs you’re being gaslit. ...

 The Narcissistic Abuse Declaration of Independence By Daniel Ryan Cotler Founder of the Heal Loudly Movement Author of Voiceless: The Silent Epidemic of Suicide Due to Narcissistic Abuse Architect of the Voiceless Justice Act and the FRANKIE Initiative When in the course of human survival, it becomes necessary for those who have been psychologically terrorized to reclaim their autonomy and separate themselves from the control of their abusers, a decent respect to the truth requires that they should declare the causes which compel them to this separation. I, and all survivors of narcissistic abuse, hold these truths to be self-evident: That all human beings are born with inherent worth. That no one is entitled to control another’s mind, body, emotions, or identity. That psychological abuse is a form of violence strategic, intentional, and designed to destroy. That narcissistic abuse, when left unchecked, leads to fragmentation of identity, collapse of will, isolation, and, in far t...

Functional Freeze: The Trauma Response That Looks Like  Laziness But Is Actually Psychological Shutdown By Daniel Ryan Cotler, Narcissistic Abuse Expert & Survivor Advocate. 🧠 What Is Functional Freeze? Functional freeze is a severe trauma response often misdiagnosed as laziness or depression where the body goes through the motions of living, but the mind is trapped in psychological shutdown. This is a nervous system freeze response, commonly found in survivors of narcissistic abuse, complex PTSD, and prolonged emotional trauma. Unlike acute panic or emotional breakdowns, functional freeze is subtle. Survivors can appear “fine” while feeling disconnected, exhausted, numb, or even dead inside. It is not a personality flaw it is a survival mechanism rooted in unresolved trauma. 🔍 Key Symptoms of Functional Freeze Common signs include: Chronic exhaustion and inability to get out of bed Emotional numbness and mental fog Disassociation or feeling “checked out” Forgetting basic tas...

Narcissistic Abuse SURVIVOR STORIES “He Said He Can’t Wait to Go to My Funeral” Submitted to the Heal Loudly Movement. Name changed for privacy. This one… this one leaves no room for doubt. No room for pretending narcissistic abuse isn’t deadly. No room for soft language or silence. She came forward because her soul has been shattered. Not metaphorically literally. Systematically. Deliberately. And in writing, her abuser told her exactly what he wanted: “I can’t wait to go to your funeral.” Let’s not dance around what that is. That is premeditated psychological murder. That is a narcissist admitting the endgame. And yet… no consequences. This survivor wasn’t just abused by one person she was hunted by an entire family system. A cult of enablers. A circle of silence. The kind of multi-front abuse that erodes everything: your mind, your trust, your identity, your hope.  “Nobody will listen to what I have to say.” That line should haunt us all. Because it echoes in every survivor’s ch...

Narcissistic Abuse Survivor Story (Anonymous Submission) "She Doesn’t Even Know She’s Dying" I have a friend who is being destroyed by narcissistic abuse. Not by one person nbut by many. By a lifetime of trauma stacked on top of trauma, like bricks on her chest she was never strong enough to carry but no one ever helped her unload. She’s been hurt in the worst ways, by more people than I can count. It started with the unthinkable trauma from a family member. The kind of trauma that rewires your brain, your spirit, your instincts. Now, every man she meets becomes another abuser. It’s like she’s trapped in a loop, repeating the same pain over and over, and I can’t pull her out. Her brain is locked in survival mode fight, flight, freeze. Sometimes fawn. She doesn’t realize how broken she is, because this has become her normal. She’s been held against her will. She’s disappeared into jails and courtrooms and toxic relationships and come back acting like nothing happened. The poli...

 SURVIVOR STORIES “I Died. And Came Back to Tell the Truth.” Submitted to the Heal Loudly Movement. Name changed for privacy. In 2021, she met a man on a dating app charming, attentive, magnetic. The kind that sweeps you off your feet and makes the whole world feel like a movie. It felt like fate. She followed love from Denmark to Cyprus, and finally to Nigeria, where they married. It should have been a fairytale. But like so many survivors of narcissistic abuse, what she thought was love quickly unraveled into something much darker. When they returned to Denmark, everything changed. Behind closed doors, the mask fell. What followed was a descent into deceit, manipulation, and psychological abuse. What she once called romance became control. What looked like love became a slow, calculated undoing of her identity.  “I lost myself. I couldn’t see a way out.” The emotional damage was catastrophic. The gaslighting was relentless. She was isolated from her support system. Her reali...

 SURVIVOR STORIES “Her Truth Didn’t Die With Her” Submitted to the Heal Loudly Movement. Name changed for privacy. Some stories come in and leave a mark on your soul and this one carved itself in deep. A survivor recently reached out after watching one of our videos about emotional murder. Her message hit like lightning: painfully honest, deeply moving, and tragically familiar to far too many of us. She lost her mother to suicide. But it wasn’t just suicide. It was emotional murder.  “The day I lost my mother, I knew how, why, and who was responsible.” This survivor watched her mother suffer at the hands of a narcissistic abuser for years until it broke her spirit. She tried everything: speaking out, pleading with family, friends, even the police. But no one listened. Not really. Not enough. They closed the case. Wrote it off as mental illness. But they never asked what caused that illness. They never questioned who cultivated the despair that killed her. Her father her mother...

 🎥 Series Title: “Tactics of Psychological Warfare: How Narcissists Break You Like the CIA” The 100 War Tactics of Narcissistic Abuse  By Daniel Ryan Cotler “This Is Psychological Warfare Not a Breakup” This isn't drama. This isn't a messy relationship. This is psychological warfarebthe kind designed by intelligence agencies to break prisoners of war. And narcissists are using it. Every single day. They're not just toxic. They're tactical. Every mood swing, every silent treatment, every gaslighting session is not random. It's programmed. It's calculated. It's a weapon. These tactics come directly from CIA interrogation manuals, KGB psychological operations, and military torture programs. And survivors of narcissistic abuse are living through this hell silently, invisibly, every single day. And what happens when people don’t understand it? They tell us to “just move on.” They say, “it couldn’t have been that bad.” Survivors are left to question their own mi...

Today is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. For those who are looking for closure. If you are reading this, then you already know how devastating narcissistic abuse is. This kind of abuse doesn’t just break hearts it breaks lives. It destroys self-worth, dismantles identities, and far too often, it ends in tragedy. Many people don’t survive it. And for those who do, they’re often left haunted by questions that may never be answered. They find themselves searching for closure, clinging to the hope that the person who hurt them will one day offer an apology, an explanation, or a moment of remorse. But here’s the truth that no one wants to say out loud: That apology is never coming. That closure you’re hoping for will not come from your abuser. They are not capable of giving it to you. Closure requires empathy, accountability, and a conscienceband those are not traits that narcissistic abusers possess. So today, I want to talk to you about creating your own closure. Because healing cannot ...