Today is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. For those who are looking for closure.

Today is Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day. For those who are looking for closure.

If you are reading this, then you already know how devastating narcissistic abuse is. This kind of abuse doesn’t just break hearts it breaks lives. It destroys self-worth, dismantles identities, and far too often, it ends in tragedy. Many people don’t survive it.

And for those who do, they’re often left haunted by questions that may never be answered. They find themselves searching for closure, clinging to the hope that the person who hurt them will one day offer an apology, an explanation, or a moment of remorse.

But here’s the truth that no one wants to say out loud: That apology is never coming. That closure you’re hoping for will not come from your abuser. They are not capable of giving it to you. Closure requires empathy, accountability, and a conscienceband those are not traits that narcissistic abusers possess.

So today, I want to talk to you about creating your own closure. Because healing cannot begin when you’re still waiting for validation from the very person who invalidated everything about you.

The hardest truth in all of this is realizing that the person you loved the one you fought for, the one you believed in doesn’t exist. That person was never real. You fell in love with a carefully constructed illusion. A false self. A mask. And coming to terms with that is like grieving a ghost.

It is painful. It is confusing. You feel like you’re mourning someone who isn’t dead but also someone who never truly lived. And yet, your love for them was real. That needs to be honored. You are not foolish for loving them. You are human. You loved with your whole heart, and that is something to be proud of.

But here’s the next step. In order to heal, you have to separate the person you loved from the person who abused you. You have to split them into two. And to do that, you need to say goodbye to the fantasy. You need to let go of the version of them that you created in your mind the version you believed in.

I suggest something that changed everything for me: have a funeral.

Not for the abuser. But for the person you thought they were. Write a poem. Write a eulogy. Write a goodbye letter. Then go somewhere quiet alone, or with a few trusted people and read it. Say goodbye. Mourn the loss. Cry. Rage. Honor your love, and then release it.

This is your closure. This is the beginning of reclaiming your life.

When I did this, it broke me wide open. But it also helped me separate the illusion from the reality. It helped me stop confusing the mask for the monster. And that separation is what kept me from getting sucked back in. It is what gave me the clarity to stay away and the strength to rebuild.

Every day, I wake up and I still grieve the person I thought I loved. It feels like they died. So I treat it like a loss. Like I’m a widow. But I also remind myself: that version of them never existed. It was all a lie.

And in grieving that lie, I found the truth.

To every survivor out there today, I want you to know: your closure is not waiting in their apology. It’s waiting in your hands. You have the power to create it. To declare it. To honor your pain, and then begin your healing.

You are not broken. You are breaking free.

Grieve the ghost. Say goodbye to the illusion. And then rise.

Because healing is not about what they do.

It’s about what you do now.