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The Woman Who Saved Me: Donielle Jolie Yanez and the Power of Healing Loudly

The Narcissistic Abuse Declaration of Independence

 The Narcissistic Abuse Declaration of Independence



By Daniel Ryan Cotler

Founder of the Heal Loudly Movement

Author of Voiceless: The Silent Epidemic of Suicide Due to Narcissistic Abuse

Architect of the Voiceless Justice Act and the FRANKIE Initiative


When in the course of human survival, it becomes necessary for those who have been psychologically terrorized to reclaim their autonomy and separate themselves from the control of their abusers, a decent respect to the truth requires that they should declare the causes which compel them to this separation.


I, and all survivors of narcissistic abuse, hold these truths to be self-evident:


That all human beings are born with inherent worth.

That no one is entitled to control another’s mind, body, emotions, or identity.

That psychological abuse is a form of violence strategic, intentional, and designed to destroy.

That narcissistic abuse, when left unchecked, leads to fragmentation of identity, collapse of will, isolation, and, in far too many cases, death by suicide.

That this abuse is not merely “toxic” or “unhealthy” it is premeditated character assassination, psychological warfare, and soul murder.


For too long, society has minimized, dismissed, and misunderstood this form of abuse.

For too long, survivors have been silenced, blamed, or told to “move on” while their abusers walk free.

For too long, we have been forced to endure in silence what should have been exposed and prosecuted.

We declare the era of silence over.


We assert our inalienable rights:


The right to name what happened.


The right to speak loudly, clearly, and without shame.


The right to sever all ties with our abusers emotionally, legally, and spiritually.


The right to be believed, supported, and protected.


The right to heal on our own terms.


The right to pursue justice, accountability, and systemic change.


The right to live without being defined by the people who tried to destroy us.


To that end, I issue this Declaration of Independence from Narcissistic Abuse on behalf of myself, and every survivor who has been demeaned, dehumanized, discredited, and driven to the edge.


Let it be known:


I reject every false narrative constructed about me.

I reject every smear, every lie, every attempt to cast me as unstable, untrustworthy, or unworthy.

I reject the illusion that my silence is noble, that my suffering must be private, or that my voice is too much.

I know who I am in the marrow of my bones and the fire of my spirit and I will no longer ask permission to exist.

I am no longer available for abuse. I am no longer interested in being understood by those committed to misunderstanding me. I am no longer afraid to take up space.


I affirm, publicly and without apology, that I survived.


I affirm that my survival is not shameful, but revolutionary.

That my scars are not evidence of weakness, but of war.

That every attempt to erase me has only made my voice louder.

That I will not be defined by the cruelty of others, but by the strength it took to live through it and rise.


To the abusers who waged psychological war on my mind and body: I name you. I hold you accountable.

To the systems that enabled your abuse and protected your lies: I indict you. I call for change.

To the survivors who still believe their pain must stay hidden: I see you. I fight for you. I speak for the voiceless.


Let this document serve as notice:


We are done healing quietly.

We are done begging to be believed.

We are done accommodating the comfort of those who covered for the abusers.


We will Heal Loudly.


We will organize, legislate, educate, and expose.

We will change laws. We will shift culture.

We will no longer be collateral damage in someone else's pathology.


We will rise, not as victims, but as a global community of truth-tellers united, loud, and unafraid.


I, Daniel Ryan Cotler, affix my name to this declaration as a survivor of narcissistic abuse, a witness to its deadly consequences, and an advocate for a world where psychological warfare is no longer tolerated, minimized, or ignored.


This is my line in the sand.

This is our revolution.

This is the Declaration of Survival.

This is the beginning of the end for silence, for denial, and for abusers who believe they can destroy lives without consequence.


Signed,

Daniel Ryan Cotler

Survivor. Advocate. Author. Leader of the Heal Loudly Movement.

Founder of the Voiceless Justice Act and the FRANKIE Initiative.

Voice for the Voiceless.

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