The silent treatment is one of the most insidious methods narcissists use

 Narcissists weaponize communication as a tool of manipulation, control, and punishment. From the silent treatment to rapid-fire accusations, their tactics are deliberately designed to confuse, destabilize, and weaken their victims emotionally.

The silent treatment is one of the most insidious methods narcissists use. By withdrawing all communication, affection, or acknowledgment, they punish their victims for perceived slights or attempts to hold them accountable. This withholding creates a painful void, leaving the victim desperate for resolution or reconciliation. The silence becomes a way to assert dominance, reminding the victim of their dependency on the narcissist for emotional validation.

When narcissists do engage in communication, it is rarely to solve problems or take accountability. Instead, they deflect blame, shift topics, and lead their victims into exhausting, circular arguments. If a victim tries to address a narcissist's behavior, the conversation often spirals into chaos, with the narcissist redirecting focus onto the victim’s supposed faults. The goal isn’t resolution but confusion leaving the victim questioning their own perspective and feeling responsible for the discord.

One of their most effective tools is "word salad." They string together convoluted statements, half-truths, and unrelated points, speaking rapidly and firing off questions to overwhelm the victim. This deliberate confusion forces the victim into defensive mode, where they explain themselves over and over, often providing the narcissist with more emotional ammunition to use against them later.

Additionally, narcissists exploit their victims' emotional need to be heard and understood. When victims "go on and on," trying to clarify or seek closure, narcissists revel in the control this gives them. They collect every word, waiting for an opportunity to twist it and weaponize it in future conflicts.

These communication tactics, paired with the silent treatment, are a key part of the narcissist’s arsenal for maintaining control. They strengthen the trauma bond through intermittent reinforcement alternating between withholding affection and giving it just enough to keep the victim hooked. The cycle keeps victims addicted to the relationship, seeking the narcissist’s approval and desperate to resolve the conflict, even though true resolution is never the narcissist’s goal.

Understanding these manipulative behaviors is crucial for breaking free. Recognizing that these tactics are deliberate and designed to harm can help victims detach and reclaim their sense of self. Healing loudly from these experiences can shatter the cycle of abuse and empower others to escape its grip.

Narcissists find and attract new victims quickly because they’ve honed the ability to identify and exploit vulnerabilities.

 Narcissists find and attract new victims quickly because they’ve honed the ability to identify and exploit vulnerabilities.

They are highly skilled at reading people, spotting those who may be empathetic, insecure, or craving validation. These traits make someone more likely to fall for the narcissist’s charm and manipulation.

Their initial approach is often highly calculated. They use charisma, flattery, and attentiveness to create an intoxicating connection, often mirroring their target’s personality or interests. This creates the illusion of a perfect bond and disarms the potential victim. Narcissists are adept at love-bombing, showering the person with excessive attention, gifts, or affection to foster dependence.

Social media, dating apps, and shared social circles also allow narcissists to cast a wide net, giving them quick access to potential targets. They often keep backup sources of supply individuals they’ve been grooming on the side or maintaining as "friends" so they can seamlessly transition to a new victim.

Once the new target is hooked, the narcissist begins to subtly test boundaries and establish control, starting the cycle of manipulation and abuse all over again. Their ability to move on so quickly is fueled by their lack of genuine emotional attachment; they don’t grieve lost relationships the way others do, allowing them to focus entirely on securing their next source of supply.

Triangulation is one of the most manipulative and destructive tactics narcissists use to maintain control

 Triangulation is one of the most manipulative and destructive tactics narcissists use to maintain control

over their victims and everyone in their orbit. It involves pitting people against one another to create confusion, mistrust, and isolation. This strategy serves a dual purpose: it keeps the narcissist in the center of all interactions while preventing others from uniting against them or exposing their behavior.

Narcissists use triangulation to destabilize their victims and isolate them from potential support systems. They manufacture fake drama and conflicts, convincing their current partner that the narcissist’s family, friends, or even their own loved ones dislike or mistrust them. By creating this illusion, the narcissist ensures their victim feels unwelcome or unsafe reaching out for help, further deepening their dependency.

In addition to isolating their partner, narcissists infiltrate their victims' social circles, subtly planting seeds of doubt and mistrust. They might drop comments like, "I don't think your friend really has your best interests at heart," or "Your family seems to criticize you a lot." These statements seem harmless at first but are calculated to sow division. Over time, victims may start doubting their own relationships, pulling away from people who could see through the narcissist's facade.

Triangulation also involves creating competition between the people in the narcissist's life. For example, they might tell a partner that an ex-partner still adores them, sparking jealousy and insecurity. Or they may praise one friend to another, fostering rivalry. The narcissist thrives on this chaos, enjoying the power of being the perceived “prize” everyone is vying for or the authority everyone must answer to.

Smear campaigns are often a key part of triangulation. During the early stages, the narcissist subtly discredits their victim, dropping small but damaging comments about their behavior or character. These subtle manipulations prepare the ground for more overt attacks later. By the time the victim realizes what’s happening, the seeds of doubt have already taken root in the minds of others, making it harder to counter the narcissist’s narrative.

Through triangulation, narcissists keep everyone in a state of chaos, mistrust, and competition. This constant turmoil allows them to avoid accountability, maintain control, and deflect attention from their own behavior. When no one communicates openly, the narcissist remains untouchable, protected by the very walls of discord they’ve built.

Understanding triangulation is essential for breaking free from its grip. Recognizing the patterns and refusing to participate in the drama can strip the narcissist of their power. By fostering open communication and rebuilding trust with those they’ve tried to divide, victims can dismantle the narcissist’s web of control and reclaim their connections and peace.

Being a unhealed empath

As an empath, we love deeply and unconditionally, often at the expense of our own well-being. On my healing journey from narcissistic abuse, one of the most profound truths I uncovered was that my healing wasn’t just about my last relationship. It wasn’t just about my narcissistic ex. It was about all the relationships before him my friendships, my family, and most importantly, the relationship I had with myself.

I didn’t understand, at the time, that I had been accepting love in forms it was never meant to be accepted. My narcissist said something chilling to me during one of his last phone calls. I was facing ten years in prison for a crime I didn’t commit, with him pressing false charges against me. Taunting me, he told me, “You’re exactly where you belong, and the way you love people is why you’re here.”

As cruel as his words were, there was a kernel of truth in them perhaps one of the only truths he ever spoke. The way I loved people was wrong, not because love itself is wrong, but because I was loving unconditionally without boundaries. I was giving of myself in ways that left me vulnerable to exploitation and abuse, over and over again.

I didn’t know better. From childhood, I was conditioned to think that love was something you had to fight for, something earned through sacrifice. Love was never freely given to me; it was always conditional, always tangled in strings. My stepmother, a narcissist herself, taught me that love came with a price. So I grew up believing that love meant enduring pain, pleasing others, and sacrificing my own needs.

That belief followed me into adulthood, shaping every relationship I entered. I unconsciously invited familiar patterns of conditional love into my life because they felt normal. And that realization was devastating. For the first time, I understood that while I wasn’t responsible for the abuse I endured as a child or a teen, as an adult, I was responsible for the love I accepted and for breaking the cycle.

Now I see that some people simply don’t know how to love better. Their capacity for love is limited, shaped by their own wounds. But that doesn’t mean I have to accept it. I’ve learned the hardest truth of all: I can love someone unconditionally while still setting boundaries to protect myself.

That’s why I now love some people from a distance. It’s painful. I think about them often, even my abuser. But their access to me had to change. My love hasn’t changed it’s the same deep, unconditional love I’ve always had. What’s changed is my understanding of what I need to thrive.

Loving without boundaries left me broken, but loving with boundaries is helping me heal. Because at the end of the day, my peace, my safety, and my self-worth are worth more than any relationship. And while I will always love deeply, I will no longer love at the expense of myself.

Narcissists Murder by Suicide: The Silent Epidemic

 Narcissists Murder by Suicide: The Silent Epidemic

Narcissists don’t just ruin lives they end them. Not with visible violence, but with relentless emotional and psychological abuse designed to break their victims from the inside out. This isn’t hyperbole; it’s reality. For countless victims, narcissistic abuse leads to one final, devastating outcome: death by suicide. And let’s be clear this is murder.

I know because I lived it. I survived nine suicide attempts during a relationship with a narcissist. Every attempt was fueled by the calculated cruelty of someone who knew exactly how to destroy me, piece by piece. I’m lucky to be here today, but too many others don’t get the chance to tell their story.

This isn’t accidental. Narcissists are deliberate. They isolate their victims, strip them of their support systems, and manipulate them into believing they’re worthless. They gaslight them until they can’t trust their own minds, creating a reality where death feels like the only escape. And when their victim finally succumbs, the narcissist walks away clean, playing the grieving partner while the world blames the victim.

The worst part? This epidemic is invisible. Society doesn’t recognize it because narcissistic abuse doesn’t leave physical scars. It leaves wounds on the soul, on the psyche, on the very foundation of a person’s identity. And those wounds are ignored, misinterpreted, or dismissed.

In my book Voiceless: The Silent Epidemic of Suicide Due to Narcissistic Abuse, I share the stories of victims whose lives were stolen by their abusers. Their pain, their despair, and their deaths are proof of how real this crisis is. Within our community, we know the truth: hundreds of thousands, maybe even millions, have been lost to this kind of abuse. And yet, the world looks away.

This is why healing loudly matters. It’s not just about surviving it’s about exposing the truth. It’s about refusing to let the stories of those we’ve lost be silenced. It’s about demanding justice.

We must fight for laws that recognize narcissistic abuse as a crime. We must push for suicides caused by this abuse to be treated as homicides, because that’s exactly what they are. And we must educate the world about the insidious tactics these abusers use to destroy their victims.

To survivors: your voice matters. If it’s safe, speak up. Share your story. Keep a record of the abuse texts, emails, journals so the truth can’t be erased. And know this: you’re not alone.

To those we’ve lost, we won’t let your deaths be in vain. We will fight for you, for justice, for recognition. We will make sure the world knows the truth: narcissists murder by suicide, and it has to end.