Triangulation is one of the most manipulative and destructive tactics narcissists use to maintain control

over their victims and everyone in their orbit. It involves pitting people against one another to create confusion, mistrust, and isolation. This strategy serves a dual purpose: it keeps the narcissist in the center of all interactions while preventing others from uniting against them or exposing their behavior.

Narcissists use triangulation to destabilize their victims and isolate them from potential support systems. They manufacture fake drama and conflicts, convincing their current partner that the narcissist’s family, friends, or even their own loved ones dislike or mistrust them. By creating this illusion, the narcissist ensures their victim feels unwelcome or unsafe reaching out for help, further deepening their dependency.

In addition to isolating their partner, narcissists infiltrate their victims' social circles, subtly planting seeds of doubt and mistrust. They might drop comments like, "I don't think your friend really has your best interests at heart," or "Your family seems to criticize you a lot." These statements seem harmless at first but are calculated to sow division. Over time, victims may start doubting their own relationships, pulling away from people who could see through the narcissist's facade.

Triangulation also involves creating competition between the people in the narcissist's life. For example, they might tell a partner that an ex-partner still adores them, sparking jealousy and insecurity. Or they may praise one friend to another, fostering rivalry. The narcissist thrives on this chaos, enjoying the power of being the perceived “prize” everyone is vying for or the authority everyone must answer to.

Smear campaigns are often a key part of triangulation. During the early stages, the narcissist subtly discredits their victim, dropping small but damaging comments about their behavior or character. These subtle manipulations prepare the ground for more overt attacks later. By the time the victim realizes what’s happening, the seeds of doubt have already taken root in the minds of others, making it harder to counter the narcissist’s narrative.

Through triangulation, narcissists keep everyone in a state of chaos, mistrust, and competition. This constant turmoil allows them to avoid accountability, maintain control, and deflect attention from their own behavior. When no one communicates openly, the narcissist remains untouchable, protected by the very walls of discord they’ve built.

Understanding triangulation is essential for breaking free from its grip. Recognizing the patterns and refusing to participate in the drama can strip the narcissist of their power. By fostering open communication and rebuilding trust with those they’ve tried to divide, victims can dismantle the narcissist’s web of control and reclaim their connections and peace.

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