The Systems That Fail Narcissistic Abuse Victims

 The Systems That Fail Narcissistic Abuse Victims

By Daniel Ryan Cotler

From Voiceless No More The Legal War on Narcissistic Abuse.

The voiceless were also destroyed by systems designed to protect them that instead blamed them, dismissed them, or actively aided their predators.

Courts failed them by giving custody to their abusers, by accepting predators' weaponization of their Coerced Defensive Aggression, by treating their trauma symptoms as evidence of unfitness, by refusing to recognize psychological warfare as serious harm, and by bankrupting them through legal terrorism. When courts became weapons in predators' hands, when survivors lost their children to the predators systematically abusing them, when justice was denied repeatedly, some chose death over continued captivity enforced by legal systems.

Therapists failed them by providing couples therapy when individual trauma therapy was needed, by suggesting they examine their contribution to mutual dysfunction when they were being systematically abused, by lacking training in trauma and coercive control, and by refusing to provide expert testimony that might have helped them win custody or protection. When the therapeutic relationship that should have validated and healed them instead blamed and gaslit them, some chose death over betrayal by the very professionals who should have understood.

Friends and family failed them by believing the predator's smear campaign, by insisting they must be exaggerating because the predator seemed so nice, by withdrawing support after years of hearing about the abuse without seeing the survivor leave, by giving ultimatums demanding the survivor stop complaining or risk losing the relationship, and by maintaining relationships with the predator that validated the predator and betrayed the survivor. When everyone they loved either abandoned them or sided with their abuser, when social isolation became total, some chose death over existing completely alone.

Police and law enforcement failed them by refusing to take reports of stalking or harassment seriously, by arresting them for Coerced Defensive Aggression while allowing predators to continue terrorizing them, by suggesting abuse was mutual or was civil matter rather than criminal matter, and by failing to enforce protection orders. When the systems designed to protect citizens from violence treated their terror as unworthy of intervention, some chose death over continued victimization without protection.

Medical professionals failed them by treating their trauma symptoms as primary psychiatric illness requiring medication rather than as consequences of abuse requiring trauma therapy, by suggesting their physical symptoms were psychosomatic or exaggerated, and by maintaining superficial interventions when intensive trauma treatment was necessary. When their bodies and minds were screaming evidence of systematic abuse but medical systems medicated symptoms without addressing causes, some chose death over continuing to live in bodies destroyed by abuse while being told nothing was physically wrong.

This Stops Now

Every toxic mantra must be recognized as a contribution to Psychological Homicide. Every system failure must be recognized as enabling predator murder of victims. Every professional who blames victims must be recognized as participating in their destruction. This is not hyperbole. This is a documented fact. The survivors we lost are dead because predators destroyed them while the world blamed them for their own destruction.

We honor the voiceless by committing that no more names will be added to their number. We honor them by recognizing Psychological Homicide as the murder it is and prosecuting predators accordingly. We honor them by eliminating toxic mantras and replacing them with validation and support. We honor them by reforming systems that fail survivors and holding professionals accountable for victim-blaming. We honor them by passing the Voiceless Justice Act and similar legislation named for those who died so that others might survive. We honor them by ensuring their deaths catalyze the revolution that will save those who come after.