Grieving Someone Who Never Existed: Why Narcissistic Abuse Breaks the Human Spirit
June 1st | Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day
Www.change.org/VoicelessJusticeAct
One of the most excruciating parts of healing from narcissistic abuse is coming to terms with a paradox that breaks the human heart: mourning the loss of someone who never truly existed.
For a long time, I was paralyzed by grief. Not just any griefbbut the kind that leaves your soul gasping for air. I wasn’t just heartbroken over the end of a relationship. I was grieving the death of a person who only existed in my mind the version of my abuser that I fell in love with. The charming, kind, attentive partner who mirrored everything I ever wanted. But that person wasn’t real. He was a mask.
Behind that mask was someone entirely different. Someone capable of cruelty so calculated it nearly killed me. I lived in limbo torn between two versions of the same person: the man I thought I loved, and the abuser he truly was. That mental split is devastating. It’s disorienting. And for many, it becomes deadly.
To survive, I had to do something radical: I held a funeral in my mind for the version of him I loved. I let myself grieve like a widow, because that’s what I was. The person I believed in is gone. He never truly existed but my love for him did, and that grief is valid. It's real. And it's part of the healing.
I never got the closure I wanted. Most of us never do. But I got the closure I needed: the clarity to separate the fantasy from the threat. That clarity is what keeps me safe now. It helps me stay grounded in reality. It reminds me that love should never come wrapped in manipulation, betrayal, and psychological warfare.
This is what people don’t understand about narcissistic abuse: it’s not just emotional painbit’s psychological murder. So many survivors die by suicide because the grief is so complex, the gaslighting so complete, and the betrayal so deep that it leaves you questioning your own reality. It’s not a breakup. It’s a breakdown of your identity. It’s heartbreak so profound, many don’t survive it.
And that’s why we must talk about this. We must recognize narcissistic abuse for what it truly is a public health crisis. A silent epidemic. A form of invisible violence that steals lives in slow motion.
So today, on Narcissistic Abuse Awareness Day, I invite you to join the conversation.
If you are a survivor, your grief is valid. Your confusion is valid. Your anger is valid. You are not crazy. You are not weak. You are a human being who was targeted, manipulated, and broken down. But you are not beyond repair. Your healing starts with truth.
Let’s talk about it. Let’s stop pretending this abuse isn’t real just because we can’t see the bruises.
Let’s call it what it is. Let’s demand change. Let’s demand justice.
That’s why I’m introducing the Voiceless Justice Act a groundbreaking piece of federal legislation that recognizes narcissistic abuse as a form of psychological homicide when it leads to suicide. It will create legal pathways for justice, establish a national registry for verified psychological abusers, and give a voice to the voiceless victims who died without ever being believed.
If you’ve ever felt invisible in your pain this is for you. If you’ve ever wondered whether anyone sees the devastation narcissistic abuse leaves behind this is for you. If you survived when you didn’t think you would you are the reason we fight.
Join me. Share your story. Sign the petition. Help pass the Voiceless Justice Act.
Let’s stop mourning in silence. Let’s Heal Loudly.
Because the silence is killing us.
And we can’t afford to lose another soul to a predator with a mask
Sign the petition at change.org voiceless justice act
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