A message to surviviors of narcisaistic abuse

I understand what you're going through in the aftermath of narcissistic abuse. The pain is overwhelming, and the betrayal cuts deeper than you thought possible. The person you loved the one you gave your trust, energy, and heart to was never real. The weight of that realization is crushing because you could never imagine doing to someone else what was done to you.

And then there’s the isolation. Friends and family don't get it. They tell you to “move on,” to “get over it,” completely unaware of the trauma bond that holds you in place, the psychological warfare you endured, and the scars that aren’t visible.

I know how some days feel impossible. The heaviness of it all, the hopelessness, the feeling that you might not survive another moment like this. But I want to tell you something: every time you’ve faced moments like this losing a job, grieving a loved one, enduring heartbreak, or even being left with nothing you’ve made it through. Your survival rate for life’s worst days is 100%.

And you’re going to make it through this too. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but on the other side of this pain is something beautiful. There’s a lesson waiting for you, one that will bring growth and self-discovery. What happened to you wasn’t your fault. You didn’t deserve it. You are enough, and you are worthy.

The narcissist chose you because of your beauty your empathy, kindness, and generosity but also because of wounds you may not have known you carried. Empathy, for all its goodness, can sometimes be a trauma response. Many empaths are people pleasers, prioritizing others to avoid rejection or abandonment, forgiving too easily, and believing in the good in people even when it costs them. Narcissists thrive on this dynamic, taking everything you offer while giving nothing in return.

But here’s the truth: what they took from you, you can rebuild. And what’s coming next is a version of yourself you’ve never known a self that loves deeply, starting with you. A self that enforces boundaries, recognizes red flags, and demands actions that match words.

So whatever today looks like, take one small step forward. Even if it’s just breathing, eating, or getting out of bed every small win is a step toward reclaiming your life. And when you rise, let your healing be your revenge. The one thing narcissists can’t stand is seeing you thrive, seeing you rebuild what they tried to destroy, and watching you reclaim your joy.

You are stronger than you know. You’ve got this. Keep going.

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