Sitting Down with Sean Cribbins: From Victim to Advocate in the Wake of a Serial Killer
When you’ve been hunted, when someone has sought to take everything from you, the act of surviving becomes a shadowy existence one where each breath feels like a defiance against the darkness that nearly consumed you. This week, I had the profound honor of sitting down with Sean Cribbins, a survivor of one of Canada’s most infamous serial killers, Bruce McArthur. Our conversations were a journey through pain, resilience, and the transformative power of shared stories.
In 2017, Sean was brutally targeted by McArthur, who preyed on vulnerable men in Toronto's LGBTQ+ community. Known for his charm and manipulative nature, McArthur lured victims to his home before ultimately murdering them. Sean’s harrowing escape from McArthur’s clutches is a testament to his will to live. Had it not been for McArthur’s roommate returning home unexpectedly, Sean would have been the next victim a fact that haunts him to this day.
McArthur’s gruesome legacy included the deaths of at least eight men, with their bodies found in planters at a property where he worked. The chilling details of McArthur’s crimes send shivers down the spine of anyone who hears them. His possession of photographs of all his victims, including Sean, underscores the true horror of his predation. Sean described the suffocating fear he felt during that encounter he remembered struggling to breathe as the reality of his situation sank in. The memories of that night remain shrouded in a fog of trauma, with pieces lost to memory, but the emotional scars are ever-present.
As Sean recounted his story, I felt an unbreakable bond form between us. Though our traumas were different his the physical violence of a serial killer, and mine the psychological torment inflicted by a malignant narcissist we shared an understanding of what it means to be targeted, groomed, and violated. Our discussions about the survivor’s guilt he endures were raw and poignant. Sean grapples with the reality that he survived while others did not, a burden that weighs heavily on his heart.
The aftermath of such trauma often brings a cascade of emotional turmoil. Sean and I spoke openly about the dark thoughts that accompany survival. There were moments when the pain felt insurmountable, leading to thoughts of self-harm and despair. It’s a brutal paradox: having lived through the unthinkable, yet still grappling with a desire to escape the memories that haunt us. In those quiet moments of vulnerability, we admitted to each other that the act of surviving is often fraught with the impulse to surrender.
Both of us have faced the demons of our past every day, navigating the scars that linger long after the physical threats have faded. The guilt and shame that often cling to survivors are burdens that society places upon us. People tell us how strong we are for enduring what we went through, but strength is not what we sought; we merely wanted to exist. Living with PTSD is not a badge of honor; it’s an ongoing struggle.
One of the most poignant moments in our discussions was when Sean spoke about the emotional turmoil he faced during McArthur’s trial. The act of confronting his abuser in court brought a flood of emotions fear, anger, and a complex mixture of healing and pain. It’s a moment that many survivors dread, and I could relate intimately, having faced my own abuser in court and feeling the suffocating weight of their presence.
Sean's courage to face McArthur is not just a testament to his resilience; it's a beacon for others who may one day have to confront their own tormentors. We both understand that survival extends beyond the moment of escape. It involves a daily reckoning with the past and a commitment to finding a way forward.
In sharing our truths, Sean and I found a connection that goes beyond friendship it’s a lifeline for others like us, a beacon for those still navigating their own stormy seas. We’ve seen firsthand how these stories have the power to heal, to bridge the chasm of isolation that trauma often creates.
Sean’s advocacy is nothing short of admirable. His documentary, which chronicles his journey and the experiences of other survivors, has reached millions and won multiple awards for its raw and honest portrayal of trauma and healing. Through his work, he offers hope and a voice to those who have suffered in silence, reminding us that we are not alone in our struggles.
Survival doesn’t end when you make it out alive. Both Sean and I learned that the hard way. What comes after the long days of recovery, the nightmares, the isolation requires immense strength. Advocacy for us isn’t a choice; it’s a necessity for survival. By sharing our stories, we’re not just giving voice to the trauma; we’re reclaiming control over it.
If you find yourself grappling with your own trauma, know that your journey is valid. Reach out, share your story, and take back your narrative. Together, we can create a tapestry of resilience that reminds us all: while the scars may remain, they do not define us. Together, we rise, stronger than the darkness that tried to hold us captive.
Meeting Sean Cribbins was not just an encounter with a fellow survivor; it was a reminder that every story matters and every voice deserves to be heard. In sharing our journeys, we shine a light on the shadows of trauma, offering hope and healing to those still searching for their way out. Survival isn’t strength; it’s resilience, a testament to our capacity to endure and to transform pain into purpose.
If you or someone you know is struggling with suicidal thoughts, abuse, or the effects of trauma, please reach out for help. Here are some resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8255)
A free, 24/7 service that can provide support, information, and resources for individuals in distress.
Crisis Text Line: Text “HELLO” to 741741
A free, 24/7 text line for anyone in crisis, providing immediate support.
RAINN (Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network): 1-800-656-HOPE (1-800-656-4673)
A national hotline for survivors of sexual assault, providing support and resources.
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness): 1-800-950-NAMI (1-800-950-6264)
A national organization providing information and support for mental health issues.
LGBTQIA+ Resources:
Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386
A national organization providing crisis intervention and suicide prevention services to LGBTQ+ youth.
GLBT National Help Center: 1-888-843-4564 A national resource for LGBTQIA+ individuals seeking support, information, and resources.
Local Support Groups: Consider reaching out to local mental health organizations or community centers that offer support groups for survivors of trauma and abuse.
You are not alone, and help is always available.
Comments