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The New Supply Isn’t Special: Understanding the Narcissist’s Game After Discard

The Cycle of Narcissistic Abuse

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The cycle of narcissistic abuse unfolds through four distinct and damaging stages, leaving a profound impact on the victim's mental and emotional well-being:

1. Idealization (Love Bombing, Mirroring, Future Faking): In the initial phase, the narcissist employs love bombing, showering the victim with overwhelming affection and attention. Mirroring comes into play as the narcissist reflects the victim's values and interests, creating a false sense of compatibility. Future faking involves making grand promises and plans for the future, further solidifying the idealized image of the relationship.

2. Devaluation (Smear Campaigns, Triangulation, Reactive Abuse):As the narcissist gains the victim's trust, the devaluation stage unfolds with insidious tactics. Smear campaigns damage the victim's reputation through lies and manipulation. Triangulation introduces a third party, creating jealousy and competition. Reactive abuse occurs when the victim reacts to the narcissist's provocations, and the narcissist uses this reaction to further portray the victim as unstable or aggressive. This multifaceted devaluation leaves the victim emotionally battered and questioning their self-worth.

3. Discard: Eventually, the narcissist initiates the discard phase, severing ties with the victim. This separation can occur abruptly or unfold gradually, consistently leaving the victim grappling with feelings of abandonment, confusion, and devastation.

4. Hoovering: Post-discard, the narcissist may engage in hoovering, attempting to draw the victim back into the relationship. This phase involves the narcissist offering false promises of change, professing love and affection, and employing manipulative tactics to regain control over the victim.

Recognizing these intricate stages is paramount for victims seeking to break free from the cycle of narcissistic abuse. Seeking support and professional help becomes crucial for healing and reclaiming one's mental and emotional well-being. Breaking the cycle involves understanding these dynamics, establishing boundaries, and embarking on a journey of recovery to rebuild self-esteem and foster healthier relationships.

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